That didn't go as planned.

Maybe my goal should be posting a monthly wrap-up instead?

Maybe I should realize that my blogging days might be over?

 What started as a great way for me to journal the day, get some ''me'' time and talk (write?) like an adult at the end of a day spent at home with very small children...isn't needed near as much these days. When I started this blog in July of 2007, Ryan was 17 months old and Logan was 2 months old....they're now 8 years old and 7 years old. Every day is now full of the go-go-go life that I was craving 7 years ago. I spent a lot of those first few years feeling under-appreciated and lonely (yet never alone). I blogged in the evenings because it was something I could do that was for me.

When you're a new mom, at the age of 23 with two children under the age 18 months, you're isolated not just by choice but practicality. None of my friends (at the time) had kids. No one I knew had breastfed, no one I knew was juggling two babies. I had two in diapers. Two who couldn't feed themselves. Two who couldn't dress themselves. Two needed at least one nap a day. They were both in cribs, both in rear-facing carseats, both waking at night and both needing me 24/7. Obviously Ron was there but initially, it was  a huge time of readjusting for both of us. Ron had returned from a 15 month deployment in Iraq in January of 2006 and immediately returned home to a six month pregnant wife who was put on bedrest, he started a new job, lived in a new house (I had moved in while he was deployed) and within 3 months of returning home he became a father. We were both in a blur, going through the motions and doing what needed to be done. Oh and did I mention we were newlyweds? {Married/Eloped in May of 2004, he deployed in Oct 2004 and returned home in Dec 2006). Boy were the odds stacked against us!

But we did it! And we didn't just get by, we succeeded. We asked for help, when we needed it. I supported his career and he supported my (often zany) parenting. We moved when it meant more pay. We took it day by day and while it certainly wasn't easy, we had each other, we had family and we had our kids. We made it because not making it, wasn't an option. We voluntarily chose to live in a 2 bedroom duplex with 2 kids and with one on the way, just so we could stay near family when the alternative was facing a move to Wisconsin that none of us wanted. We then had four kids in that house and lived there for 2 years, before we moved from Kansas to Texas to follow his job, with our three boys and a newborn who was seven weeks old...because it needed to be done. When an opportunity to move overseas presented itself, I surprised myself by wanting to go. Everything I had ever known was going to be so far away and yet I realized it was something that we needed to do. Not just as a career move but for us. For our family, for us to grow.

When I look at this blog, I don't just see the pictures and the milestones, I am flooded with memories. I am reminded of the days of no sleep. The weeks where I had a child attached to my hip, one on my boob, and one jumping off of the kitchen table. The days where my house was a mess, the nights where the laundry was piled up, I felt like I hadn't seen my husband in weeks and yet I spent the evening making baby-food and superhero capes. I was often asked "How do you do it?" and the answer was "I don't know, it needs done and I don't know any differently". I have always wanted to be a mother and in those early days, it wasn't always what I had hoped for.

In the beginning, it's thankless. You are spending every waking moment caring for this amazing child who does nothing but eat for hours, cry for hours and sleep for even fewer hours. You get peed on and pooped on and getting dressed in something other than pajamas, is an accomplishment that no one else seems to even notice. You love him with a feeling that you didn't know even existed and it's exhausting. I wondered if being a stay at home mom was what I really wanted or something I "had" to do. I debated getting a job, or in my eyes: admitting failure. That I was wrong, that I wasn't good at this "being a mom" thing, that this wasn't for me after all and that I needed to get a job.  (I am NOT saying that moms who work are failures, not at all. But I had been told from the age of 16 that I would likely not be able to have children and being a stay at home mom, at least for those early years, was literally all I wanted to be.) But then your baby grows. That eating/pooping/crying machine suddenly starts to smile and giggle.

One morning you finish feeding him and he clutches your finger with his tiny hand, and looks right into your eyes. He recognizes you. One morning you wake up find him standing in his crib, clapping from excitement to see you. One night you wake at 2am and realize that he isn't awake. So you sneak into his room and check to make sure he's breathing. Your baby starts to sleep through the night and you wake more often, with worry if he's really okay. The day that he finally starts yelling "Mama!" you bawl to the point of startling him. When a second and third child come along, you wonder how you will have enough love? You question if you're being unfair to the others, by having another baby who is going to need so much of your attention, your time and your heart. I can remember pushing Ryan in the stroller to the park while pregnant with Logan, and just bawling that he didn't get me to himself for very long. Wondering if he was going to resent me. (Spoiler alert: He was fine, is fine and loves me still 8 years later).

Being a mother makes you selfless, worrisome, tired, crazy, lonely, patient, tired and a slew of other emotions...but most of all it makes you a better person. A slightly neurotic and tired, better person. I went from being a 21 year old newlywed who was worried about what would happen on this week's episode of "The Hills" to being a 23 year old mother who was worried about colic, teething, if that shade of green was normal for poop and why my 18 month old wasn't talking. I went from worrying about what style of jeans to buy to fretting over car seat brands, baby-carriers and if that bottle I was using was made with BPA and if I was causing ever-lasting damage by letting my son have a binky.

Being a mom makes me a better person. It defines who I am today and the early days of this blog, remind me of how far I have come. I was so nervous I was doing something wrong, or that I'd forget something cute they did. That I would miss a milestone or that I would miss an underlying illness. So much of those early years was spent second-guessing myself and a lot of it was spent proving myself. To whom, I don't know. Myself, others, family, strangers...the world I guess? I will forever be grateful for this blog because it is my journal, my proof that I did okay. It's my reminder to trust my gut. It's that lesson that ''this too shall pass'' and that ''shit happens''. It's my ups and my downs and it's pretty entertaining. It has videos and pictures of milestones and everyday boring occurrences. This may be "just" a blog but for me it's so much more.

Seven years ago I needed to "blog". Today, I need this blog not for writing but to serve as a reminder. A reminder that it's all going to work out, that it goes by SO fast and a reminder to trust my instincts because despite my often internal doubts, I am a good mom.

And my hope is that if you're mom, especially a mom still in those early years that you realize: You are Amazing. You are doing a great job. You are allowed to fail, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed a break. You are human. You get yourself up, dust yourself off and remember that tomorrow is a new day. Find your outlet. Find that thing that makes you feel like you and not just "Mom". This blog, let me be Shannon for 20 minutes a night back when I needed it the most and for that, I will always be grateful.

So yes, I have to realize that I may be done blogging. If you came here looking for a new post, do me a favor: choose an early year off to the left, click on a month and select a random date and read. Realize what's petty and what's important not just right now, but seven years from now. Take nothing for granted and realize that despite the cliche, it will go by very fast. Appreciate it and LIVE it. Will there be more posts? I can't say. Do I feel the need to blog? Not near as often these days but I don't know what the future will hold, only that I'm along for the ride with or without blogging about it!

Maggie turns THREE!

I haven't always been the best at sharing these monthly photos on the blog, but I have remembered to take one every single month. And Sissy, this month you are THREE YEARS OLD!

At three years old you:

• are weighing in at 26.2lbs and 35.5 inches tall
• are wearing 2T pants, 3T shirts and a size 7/8 shoe
• are sleeping in a twin bed, with no rails/sides, in your room and sleeping straight through the night without waking. (which you've been doing for awhile now)
• love to color, draw, cut and paint. 
• are becoming obsessed with Lalaloopsies and My Little Pony, as well as Batgirl, Wonderwoman and Catwoman 
• love the color pink, your favorite food is salad and you have to pick out your own shoes or an epic tantrum will follow. 

Happy Birthday Sissy! We spent the day at the boardwalk and went to dinner, then came home to eat cupcakes. You will have your party when we are in Kansas in two weeks!

I now have a 1st grader and a 2nd grader

Where does the time go? I mean really. I cannot believe that the school year has ended already! While I remembered to take the boys' photos, you'll note a few differences. Like, they don't have shoes on. Of course they wore shoes to school but the ones from the beginning of the year no longer fit. I mean both boys went from a size 11.5 shoe to a size one and that's staying in the same brand (Converse All-Star). My boys may be small for their ages but they each grew quite a bit this year.

**Please ignore any typos (shoe 1 shoe...really!?) it's almost 10:30pm and I'd have to redo the whole thing**

 

Now granted, I didn't do a very good job of sizing up the photos, I should have stood much farther back but alas it is too late now. (And I can't even fake it and have a redo because I buzzed all their hair off!) Needless to say, they grew up a little this year!

My 900th Blog Post!

I started this blog back in July of 2007 and I can't believe that here I am, six years later, still plugging away. Now granted back then I was posting much more often but back then I had two fewer kiddos and much more free time. Since starting this blog we have...

• given Bubba and Pooks two more siblings and have now completed our family. Hence where the blog address comes from...I never changed it after having Peanut because I knew it was highly likely that we weren't done having kids. After Sissy, we are done (necessary surgeries have been preformed to assure that!) but now if I move to a new web address I'll lose all my comments and I don't want that either so here we are, at Bubba and Pooks. Forever! 
• moved from small town Kansas, to bigger town Kansas, back to smaller town Kansas, to San Antonio, Texas and now we reside in Northern Italy. Five towns (2 states and 2 countries) in six years!
• re-homed one dog (our beloved chihuahua, Tito) due to Bubba's allergies and asthma (Tito had a genetic shedding disorder) and recently added a more asthma friendly, Maltese/Min Pin named Lucca to the clan. This is probably for the better as Tito was pretty skiddish around a lot of people and well, our family is a lot of people.
• successfully potty trained four kids. We have moved four kids up into twin beds. We no longer deal with night feedings, diapers leaking, breast-feeding, moving the crib mattress down or baby wearing. We don't have to carry car-seats into restaurants and we have no one rear-facing anymore. We go to the store without bringing along an ''Arf'' or a puppy or a blanket. The kids are growing up! 
• been celebrated nine wedding anniversaries. When I started this blog, we were practically newlyweds!
• finally became a full-fledged card carrying member of the Swaggerwagon club. In May 2010, we succumbed to the minivan. I wasn't sure it would ever happen but I can honestly say that the sliding doors are super convenient and the "stow and go" is genius. My only regret is not getting the model with the installed DVD player.

It's amazing how much can change in six years. It really is. With 900 posts I've learned a thing or two (I think) and I'm making a couple changes.

I am going to start using the kids' real names. When it was just Bubba and Pooks, it was easy to keep straight and it was cutesy...but now I have four kids. Four kids whose names I constantly mix up or smoosh together. Add in the four blog nicknames and it's four too many. I am no longer a new mom, new to mommy blogging or scared about people knowing their names. Granted I'm not sharing our last name, social security numbers or street address...but they will be Ryan (Bubba), Logan (Pooks), Connor (Peanut), and Maggie (who I will still call Sissy 90% of the time because that's her real life nickname too). For most of my readers this changes nothing as you knew the kids' names anyway.

I am also going to try very hard to play catch-up on the trips I haven't gotten around to sharing yet. I know Nanaw is waiting for the final installments of ''Nanaw and Papa visit Italy''...which has almost a year now (crazy!).

It seems really, really cheesy when people say ''They won't be little forever'' or ''Time flies, pretty soon they'll be graduating'' and you think ''Right! I'm going crazy waiting for BEDTIME" but it's true. It really is. A lot can change in just a few years and in just 900 blog posts...

Bubba and Pooks, Summer of 2007:

Ryan and Logan, Spring Break 2013:

And now I feel old!

Milestone!

First time actually peddling on her tricycle...

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Milestone memories

Sissy you are now 2.5 years old, I can barely believe it!

You are:

• very much coming out of your shell, developing more and more character and somewhat of a wild one! 
• loving Minnie Mouse, anything girly like princesses and dolls, My Little Pony, candy and playing with your brothers. 
• Your speech is improving though baby talk still gets you far, especially with your oldest brother. You have started to sing more and more.
• completely potty trained, staying dry at night and have started to pick out your own outfits. 
• now sleeping in a twin bed, and you sleep the entire night through all by yourself.

The morning of your half birthday, we left for PARIS so it's sometimes hard to believe all the places you have been at your young age.

I never got your 29 month picture posted, but I did take one...

My little artist(s)

Before winter break, Pooks came home from school with a paper explaining the PTA Reflections Art Program. (If you google it, it'll come right up...I yam blogging on my phone). Basically Mrs. T thinks that Pooks is a great artist who obviously loves to draw and color and she suggested that over the break, he draw something to submit to the program. The theme this year is •The Magic of the Moment• and I explained to Pooks that if he wanted to submit a picture, he should think of something or someplace that is magical to him. He said okay and days past, nothing else was said.

One evening I was prepping dinner when Pooks came in, handed me a picture and said "here is a picture for that contest. It's the leaning tower. It leans and leans but never falls...it's magic!" So I wrote down what he said and put it in his backpack to return to school. Mrs T. submitted it for us and we sorta forgot about it.

But today, we received an email. His artwork placed first in his grade level and its now going on to the next level, the European PTA Reflections, where it will be judged yet again...this time against all the other Primary level entries. He was SO excited and immediately ran off to tell his brothers. We had to go to the school to fill out the submission form for the European program, so I took that moment to snap a picture of him with his artwork. Doesn't he just look so proud of himself??

I just love his perspective on the subjects he draws. He's a lefty and I don't know if that makes a difference but I just love his art. Here is a picture he drew before Christmas, it's Rudolph pulling Santa in his sleigh. You have to look at it as Rudolph being head on and you'll see Santa, drawn smaller, behind him.

Here is a picture he drew at the beginning of the year, It's a rockstar singer with blue spikey hair...

And dinosaurs are pretty common:

Here is a picture he drew for me, it's a pizza and a glass of wine.

Not to leave his brothers out, here are some drawings from the notepad Bubba keeps in his backpack. He draws on the school bus to and from school each day. His are also very good and very unique, if I say so myself.

Here is a rockstar dinosaur:

This is us in Venice. I'm walking with the boys, B and Sissy are riding in a Gondola:

Here is an assignment from school:

Peanut gets in on the action too:

(I helped draw the pigeon with him) That's the Bus from the Pigeon book series by Mo Willems. 

Heck, Sissy *just* turned two and when she colors, she is doing a great job of staying inside of the lines and using correct colors:

They might not be the fastest or the most athletic, but they sure are creative and I couldn't be more proud :D

Are you Curious to see who turned 4??

So Peanut is my easy-going child, I've said that before. But when the kid decided back in May to have a Curious George Birthday party, I loved him for it. I was able to get all the plates/cups/napkins on clearance. I had MONTHS to think about the little things. Now granted, while the party turned out just how I wanted it to (well, minus helium balloons) I didn't have a chance to take the all the photos that I wanted. Not that it matters, my little man had a BLAST and that's all that matters :)

First, we sent the above invites. I designed them myself ( gotta love free) and after talking to Peanut we decided we wanted to try a breakfast/pajama party. I was tired of the hamburger/hotdog/pizza parties and he loved the idea of pajamas and a movie. Plus having a party where the guests are gone by 1pm and all people involved still have 1/2 the day to do whatever they want...score!

Tables set up in living room and playroom.

 Food table and book display in kitchen. The kids helped me find props to match the books (Curious George and the Aquarium= Penguin, Curious George Rides a Train= the thomas train, etc) This isn't even 1/2 the food as some was still in the oven. All together there was: cinnamon rolls, cereal, bacon, blueberry pancakes, yogurt parfait bar, an egg and ham bake (in crockpot), bananas, baked french toast, Sunny D, Yoohoo for the kids' drinks, Coffee k-cups and Milk (in glass bottles) for the adults.

 We watched the Curious George movie for a bit but the kids didn't want to sit still for very long. We ended up turning on the Xbox Kinect and they all LOVED that. It was a crowded living room but they were all jumping around. We settled down an ate, then opened presents.

 Then it was time for cupcakes and pinata!

 

 Peanut had so much fun with his friends. His friends seemed have all had a great time and the parents all thought the idea of a pajama/breakfast party was great. It really was easy to pull off, fun and to be honest...cheaper! Eggs, pancake mix, texas toast...all easy peasy on the grocery bill!

Sissy's 2nd Birthday party....

I'm so far behind on blogging, I don't even know where to begin. I have folders full of photos from when my parents were here back in August that I haven't shared yet...but before I get myself in a landslide backwards, I'll share Sissy's party pictures first :)

We had a joint party with Delilah, who turned 3 the same week that Sissy turned 2. If toddlers can have BFF's, then these two are definitely BFF's. We had an indoor party due to weather, but the theme was mermaids and everyone seemed to have a lot of fun!

 

 

I really didn't take that many pictures...too busy and having too much fun! We had kids playing in every room in the house, Disney's The Little Mermaid on in the living room. We served grilled hotdogs, chili, potato casserole, fruit salad, baked beans, fixings for Frito Pie, then of course cupcakes! Most of the adults hung out in the kitchen talking and catching up. It was nice to have an easy-going relaxing party...I just can't believe Sissy is TWO!