Monday, February 7, 2011

"Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind, up in here...up in here"

Seriously I about lost my cool today.

The day started out early, but good. Kids were ready to go and we were out the door around 9:15. We had a million places to stop since they have been sick with influenza for the past week, I had to get out. The plan was to go to the tire place {whom for now shall remain nameless, if they don't right their wrong, I'll start naming names and warning people to avoid them like the plague}. After the tire place we needed to also stop at the insurance agent's office, the fabric store, the mattress store, and lastly go grocery shopping.

It was a lot but I was prepared; Sissy had been fed, the boys had sippy's in the car and I had snacks in my purse. Everyone was in a good mood. So off we went. First stop, the insurance office for a new copy of our insurance card. In and out, kids were fine. Next stop was the tire place.

On Saturday B took our swaggerwagon in for a set of new tires, an oil change and a state inspection. When he returned home after all of this {keep in mind, it obviously wasn't cheap} the 'low tire pressure' warning light was lit and it was chiming. We waited to see if it reset and it didn't. Long story short, apparently the "mechanic" said that the built in sensors on our tires needed replaced, that they were ''defective''. Said that they broke as soon as his guys attempted to add air. Well seeing how when he dropped the van off, the sensors were fine, I was quick to blame them. We have had this car since May and have NEVER had a problem with the sensors. The light wasn't on previously. They were not defective before you messed with them but now they are? Right... So the mechanic says that he's calling the dealership to get a price on the sensors and he'd be happy to let me knowhow much, and replace those for me...if I want.

Um no. You broke them. You will fix them. I don't care how much they cost because I won't be paying for it. I told him as much, firmly but nicely. He said that he would call around and call me back and we could "work it out then". Trust me I was ready to fly my "Bitch" flag at any second but luckily, when he called back he hesitantly said that they would go ahead and ''take care of that for me''. Um, damn right you will. Crisis adverted.

Next up was a quick drive through the Starbucks window, then on to the fabric store. We're walking around looking for a fabric to make bedding for Peanut's soon to be purchased, twin bed when Pooks announces {quite loudly} that his butt is wet. So I discreetly ask if he peed. "No, but I farted".

Right...you can use your imagination on what really happened.

We got him all cleaned up and he assured me that he was fine, his tummy didn't hurt, he didn't need to poop...he ''just had a accident Mom''. Okay well I was over walking around looking at fabric that could wait anyway so we promptly left.

Next stop was the Mattress store. I needed to see how much a twin mattress would run us, if they had it in stock and if B could pick it up with his truck. So we all go in and the sales guy very quickly shows us and let's me know all the details. I get his card so I can send B there after work. He even offered to give the boys each a huge memoryfoam pillow; they were the pillows that are displayed on the mattresses so they are the big body style, queen size pillows. They say ''Sealy Posterpedic" on them and look brand new. I said sure, knowing that they'd be perfect for movie nights, etc. So I'm carrying Peanut on my hip, Sissy in her carseat, Bubba and Pooks are walking out and the salesman is nicely carrying the pillows for me to toss in the van. Well as he's putting the pillows in the van, talking about how well behaved the boys are, all the sudden Pooks starts puking. Everywhere. Well, everywhere in my van. On the floor, the seat, his seat, on himself.

Awesome.

So we cancel the grocery store trip and come straight home. I get the door open to bring Sissy in, set her down, the boys are all in and taking their shoes off, Pooks in undressing completely. I go out to the van to get his carseat out (where the most vomit was) so I can clean it when one of the boys opens the front door. Out runs the dog.

UGH! By now I'm stifling a scream.

Get the dog back in the house. Bring in the damn pillows that the kids are screaming for out of the van and into the living room. Get the car-seat into the laundry room. At this point, Sissy wakes up SCREAMING. So I have to stop everything to nurse her. Nurse her, get the boys settled with some Netflix and take 15 minutes of my life taking off the cover to his seat and getting it in the washer. At this point I finally get Pooks dressed, finish nursing Sissy and by now it's an hour past lunchtime. Get them situated with apples, peanut butter, a cheese stick and pretzels. It's what they wanted and I wasn't about to argue. Not to mention, we had to bread as I never made it to the store.

Yes, all of this happened before lunchtime.

Seriously.

Naptime went off without a hitch. All four kids actually napped, allowing me to nap as well. I had mentally already said ''Screw it'' to dinner so I wasn't worried about that. I was tired. B came home from work at 5:15 but was right out the door again as he qualifed for chair in a poker tournament. With a prize of $500, heck ya his ass is playing.

Kids and I ended up ordering a pizza, not eating dinner til 7:30. After yet another round of vomiting from Pooks. I finally get the boys into bed by 8:30pm. I got Sissy cleaned up, in her pajamas and in her crib by 9. At 9:30 Bubba and Pooks both announce that they have to poop. Imagine that. Finally around 10, they were asleep. So here it is, 11:20pm and Peanut is still awake. The best part? He's not only awake but singing to himself and begging to watch Dora.

Dora may be the straw that breaks the camel's back folks. For his sake and mine, he better hope that Daddy comes home soon!

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