So how did we end up here?

Okay so I'm here again. Maybe it will last for the summer. 

Why? 

I don't know. A friend encouraged me to try it again and there were a lot of good points made at the time, which to be honest, I can't really remember right now. Something about the fact that when I blogged the first time, I was helping people. I was entertaining people. I was real and I was myself, I was honest and there needs to be more of that on the internet and I agree. 

Y'all I look back on these posts (and trust me...one can do that for hours....) and I have so many fond memories. But I also look back on these posts and realize, I really only posted the good. Sure the focus was mainly my kids, and mostly, my kids are really really good.. I mean sure sometimes I vented or I shared a mess but for the most part, I didn't share the ''mom fails". And trust me, while none of them were major, there were a lot of them. 

One of the absolute best parts of being a mom in her 30's (with other mom friends who are in their 30's and 40's) is that I no longer care what other people think of me, or my parenting. As a young mom, I got judged a lot. When you are 26 and you have four kids under the age of 5, people constantly would say things like:

-"You do know what's causing that, right?"

-"Are they all yours?"

-"Do they have the same dad?"

-"Do you even work?"

And in my 20's I was so damn busy trying to prove to them, my husband and ultimately to myself (imposter syndrome is real) that I was a good mom despite my age, that there wasn't any room for me to be Shannon. 

But, there was this magical transition that happened when all four were in school: there was time for me. Seven hours a day where I was still a mom, but I didn't have my kids with me. Seven hours where I could grocery shop, clean, pee, run errands, take a nap, workout/do yoga, go with a friend for coffee, get a tattoo (or 6), go swimming. Seven hours a day where it was quiet. Where I could think about my life goals. Think about..."What's next?" 

I was 33, I wasn't happy in my marriage and I gave myself all these reasons...kids being in school is an adjustment, he works all day and I don't, if we weren't so stressed about money, if he would get help for some of his own struggles, if i was just better at cooking/cleaning/insert anything right here...then things would be better, right? 

So I started counseling. And trust me, I was one of those people who was going 1-2 times a WEEK when I started. I started anxiety meds. I started yoga and walking daily. A big common theme of my therapy was that I could control my own actions (choices) and reactions to others peoples choices, but that I couldn't help someone who doesn't want help. Also, idk if you knew this BUT you can't pour from an empty cup. And I was running on E. So, with my therapist I made this time line of things that were going to happen whether I wanted them or not....me turning 35, kids starting to drive, kids graduating college, and thinking what would I be doing that entire time? If I wanted to go back to school, when would it best fit in the timeline? Who was going to help me? Well, the answer is = me. If no one knows you're struggling, then no one can help you. Period. 

While I loved being at home, I needed to do something for me. I enrolled in college to finish my own degree. At the time I thought, "hey this might even help my marriage--dual income would be nice and ease some of the stress that comes with raising a big family". Ya'll it was hard. I had 44 hours transfer and was put on a plan to graduate in 3.5 years. I chose WGU and wholeheartedly recommend them to anyone in a similar busy-mom, middle-age, self-directed, situation. I also busted my ass to graduate a term early that I had expected. While the best laid plans are great, ultimately I ended up divorced before I ever graduated. But guess what? Spoiler alert: I still did it! 

As I type this right now, its a Tuesday after Memorial Day. My kids are with their dad. I am still teaching, just finished my second year in first grade, however the last day of school was last Friday.  I am officially on summer break! While it is still often extremely hard for me to be away from the kids for days at a time, we are all doing better about it. I use this time to relax, force self care. In January I went to Mexico (for the first time!) with a bestie. Since Friday I have started and finished 3 books. I have spent hours at the pool. I have deep conditioned my hair, I've gone on walks. I've taken a bubble bath and been in bed by 10 most nights! I have recently learned how to use a table saw, a router saw, I own power tools and have projects in mind that I want to make. I have gone to dinner with friends, I've emptied my old classroom and started on my new one: I'm moving to Fourth Grade as a ELAR teacher and I literally could not be any more excited. 

So to any mom who might be reading this, exhausted and wondering if it ever gets any better. When do you get to be {NAME} and not just so-so's wife, mom, mama, mommy --- it does get better, but you have to put in the effort of prioritizing your needs too. No one can do that for you!

Fancy seeing you here...

Long time no see, am I right? 

For over seven years, I blogged about 3 times a week. I used this blog to keep my family up to date, as a place for me to journal/vent and as a baby book. Keeping track of all milestones, the cute moments and the ''oh my gosh'' did that really just happen incidents with the kids.

Well, let's fast-forward about 6 years, it's now 2020. For most people this year has been a colossal dumpster fire. We have dealt with pandemics, riots, race wars, elections, killer hornets, not 1, not 2 but 3 tropical storms, and a slew of other...crap (to put it nicely). 

So you might be wondering...yeah this year has sucked, what do you possibly have to write about? What sunshine and rainbow cuteness are you going to throw this way? 

Well, while I am blogging again, let me be the first to say...it's not that kind of blog anymore. Have you heard the expression "shits about to get real?" Y'all it has been over six years since my last post....six YEARS people. A lot has changed. Life, like it has a tendency to do, didn't go the way I had planned. If you read any post on this blog prior to 2020, you'll notice:

• I had a husband (I am no longer married)
• I was a stay-at-home-mom (I went back to school, now have my BS in Elem. Education and I teach 1st grade)
• My kids were little (they tend to grow up...they're now 14, 13, 12, and 10)
• We moved...a lot! (We have now lived in the same house for 7 years!)
• I had a lot of time for crafting, blogging, tutorials, and photography (not so much anymore...)

I will be the first to admit: there have been a LOT of changes in my life. And wanna know the really crazy part? Most of those changes happened in just the past year. 

But you know what hasn't changed? The loveable chaos that is my life. My life is still loud, fun, messy, hectic, loveable and chaotic. These four kids still keep me on my toes! If you read this blog from 2007-2014 and you thought things seemed crazy with four kids under the age of four...well buckle up and wait until you read about what life is like as a single mom with four kids ages 10-14. Those "munchkins" that I used to blog about...the ones that couldn't pronounce their "r" sound, that loved to hug each other and pose for pictures? Well, two of them are taller than me, one of them is for sure smarter than me and the littlest one...she's exactly like me. 

I know, I know it's a little terrifying. Time moves so quickly. 

So yes, it's 2020 and this year has pretty much been a shit-show of epic proportions but as I was sitting there this morning looking at the Christmas tree, thinking about this past year while drinking a cup of coffee that I couldn't taste because oh yeah, I have Covid, I realized that while this isn't the life I planned, I absolutely love it. This past year has shown me just how strong I can be. 

For real, if you want to really test your own strength...go ahead and decide to go back to school full-time at age 33, while raising 4 kids and then in the middle of your last term of school (while spending 12 weeks student teaching) go ahead and get a divorce. Make sure none of your family lives in the state and then for good measure...right after you graduate (Dec 2019) have a global pandemic hit that keeps you out of work for 6 months. 

Seriously, not planned. But guess what? I did it! We survived. Not only did I live through it but I got a job, my dream job, teaching first grade at the same school my kids attended for first grade (in the very same classroom as two of them!). These past 2-3 years, I have made new friendships and strengthened old ones. I have learned to ask for help. I have learned to make mistakes (sometimes I make them twice, just to make sure) and I have learned to be myself. To embrace my quirks and my flaws and to accept myself for who I am. 

These past six years have been a trip and I wouldn't change a thing. Okay, okay, maybe I wouldn't have caught Covid but even that (so far) is manageable and it's shown me: my kids are amazingly self-sufficient, my friends are the kindest humans on earth and I have the best parents possible. 

So yes, I'm going to try blogging again. (Does anyone even still do this?). But this time, it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. This time it's going to be real because while my life is usually loveable chaos...sometimes, it's just total chaos.

Welcome back. 

That didn't go as planned.

Maybe my goal should be posting a monthly wrap-up instead?

Maybe I should realize that my blogging days might be over?

 What started as a great way for me to journal the day, get some ''me'' time and talk (write?) like an adult at the end of a day spent at home with very small children...isn't needed near as much these days. When I started this blog in July of 2007, Ryan was 17 months old and Logan was 2 months old....they're now 8 years old and 7 years old. Every day is now full of the go-go-go life that I was craving 7 years ago. I spent a lot of those first few years feeling under-appreciated and lonely (yet never alone). I blogged in the evenings because it was something I could do that was for me.

When you're a new mom, at the age of 23 with two children under the age 18 months, you're isolated not just by choice but practicality. None of my friends (at the time) had kids. No one I knew had breastfed, no one I knew was juggling two babies. I had two in diapers. Two who couldn't feed themselves. Two who couldn't dress themselves. Two needed at least one nap a day. They were both in cribs, both in rear-facing carseats, both waking at night and both needing me 24/7. Obviously Ron was there but initially, it was  a huge time of readjusting for both of us. Ron had returned from a 15 month deployment in Iraq in January of 2006 and immediately returned home to a six month pregnant wife who was put on bedrest, he started a new job, lived in a new house (I had moved in while he was deployed) and within 3 months of returning home he became a father. We were both in a blur, going through the motions and doing what needed to be done. Oh and did I mention we were newlyweds? {Married/Eloped in May of 2004, he deployed in Oct 2004 and returned home in Dec 2006). Boy were the odds stacked against us!

But we did it! And we didn't just get by, we succeeded. We asked for help, when we needed it. I supported his career and he supported my (often zany) parenting. We moved when it meant more pay. We took it day by day and while it certainly wasn't easy, we had each other, we had family and we had our kids. We made it because not making it, wasn't an option. We voluntarily chose to live in a 2 bedroom duplex with 2 kids and with one on the way, just so we could stay near family when the alternative was facing a move to Wisconsin that none of us wanted. We then had four kids in that house and lived there for 2 years, before we moved from Kansas to Texas to follow his job, with our three boys and a newborn who was seven weeks old...because it needed to be done. When an opportunity to move overseas presented itself, I surprised myself by wanting to go. Everything I had ever known was going to be so far away and yet I realized it was something that we needed to do. Not just as a career move but for us. For our family, for us to grow.

When I look at this blog, I don't just see the pictures and the milestones, I am flooded with memories. I am reminded of the days of no sleep. The weeks where I had a child attached to my hip, one on my boob, and one jumping off of the kitchen table. The days where my house was a mess, the nights where the laundry was piled up, I felt like I hadn't seen my husband in weeks and yet I spent the evening making baby-food and superhero capes. I was often asked "How do you do it?" and the answer was "I don't know, it needs done and I don't know any differently". I have always wanted to be a mother and in those early days, it wasn't always what I had hoped for.

In the beginning, it's thankless. You are spending every waking moment caring for this amazing child who does nothing but eat for hours, cry for hours and sleep for even fewer hours. You get peed on and pooped on and getting dressed in something other than pajamas, is an accomplishment that no one else seems to even notice. You love him with a feeling that you didn't know even existed and it's exhausting. I wondered if being a stay at home mom was what I really wanted or something I "had" to do. I debated getting a job, or in my eyes: admitting failure. That I was wrong, that I wasn't good at this "being a mom" thing, that this wasn't for me after all and that I needed to get a job.  (I am NOT saying that moms who work are failures, not at all. But I had been told from the age of 16 that I would likely not be able to have children and being a stay at home mom, at least for those early years, was literally all I wanted to be.) But then your baby grows. That eating/pooping/crying machine suddenly starts to smile and giggle.

One morning you finish feeding him and he clutches your finger with his tiny hand, and looks right into your eyes. He recognizes you. One morning you wake up find him standing in his crib, clapping from excitement to see you. One night you wake at 2am and realize that he isn't awake. So you sneak into his room and check to make sure he's breathing. Your baby starts to sleep through the night and you wake more often, with worry if he's really okay. The day that he finally starts yelling "Mama!" you bawl to the point of startling him. When a second and third child come along, you wonder how you will have enough love? You question if you're being unfair to the others, by having another baby who is going to need so much of your attention, your time and your heart. I can remember pushing Ryan in the stroller to the park while pregnant with Logan, and just bawling that he didn't get me to himself for very long. Wondering if he was going to resent me. (Spoiler alert: He was fine, is fine and loves me still 8 years later).

Being a mother makes you selfless, worrisome, tired, crazy, lonely, patient, tired and a slew of other emotions...but most of all it makes you a better person. A slightly neurotic and tired, better person. I went from being a 21 year old newlywed who was worried about what would happen on this week's episode of "The Hills" to being a 23 year old mother who was worried about colic, teething, if that shade of green was normal for poop and why my 18 month old wasn't talking. I went from worrying about what style of jeans to buy to fretting over car seat brands, baby-carriers and if that bottle I was using was made with BPA and if I was causing ever-lasting damage by letting my son have a binky.

Being a mom makes me a better person. It defines who I am today and the early days of this blog, remind me of how far I have come. I was so nervous I was doing something wrong, or that I'd forget something cute they did. That I would miss a milestone or that I would miss an underlying illness. So much of those early years was spent second-guessing myself and a lot of it was spent proving myself. To whom, I don't know. Myself, others, family, strangers...the world I guess? I will forever be grateful for this blog because it is my journal, my proof that I did okay. It's my reminder to trust my gut. It's that lesson that ''this too shall pass'' and that ''shit happens''. It's my ups and my downs and it's pretty entertaining. It has videos and pictures of milestones and everyday boring occurrences. This may be "just" a blog but for me it's so much more.

Seven years ago I needed to "blog". Today, I need this blog not for writing but to serve as a reminder. A reminder that it's all going to work out, that it goes by SO fast and a reminder to trust my instincts because despite my often internal doubts, I am a good mom.

And my hope is that if you're mom, especially a mom still in those early years that you realize: You are Amazing. You are doing a great job. You are allowed to fail, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed a break. You are human. You get yourself up, dust yourself off and remember that tomorrow is a new day. Find your outlet. Find that thing that makes you feel like you and not just "Mom". This blog, let me be Shannon for 20 minutes a night back when I needed it the most and for that, I will always be grateful.

So yes, I have to realize that I may be done blogging. If you came here looking for a new post, do me a favor: choose an early year off to the left, click on a month and select a random date and read. Realize what's petty and what's important not just right now, but seven years from now. Take nothing for granted and realize that despite the cliche, it will go by very fast. Appreciate it and LIVE it. Will there be more posts? I can't say. Do I feel the need to blog? Not near as often these days but I don't know what the future will hold, only that I'm along for the ride with or without blogging about it!

After a 4 month hiatus we now return to regular programming...

Whew, was that a blogging break or what? It wasn't really intentional, life just kinda got really busy, really quickly and I think we've fallen into a little groove here in Texas. Back in March we had been stateside for about six months and I would say we have definitely settled down. We've met neighbors, made friends, started new hobbies. I started scrapbooking with Project Life so my blogging has lagged as I try to scrap our time in Italy. We also have had a slew of visitors and generally kept really busy. 

Lets see if I can sum it up:

March- Let's see, in March was I post-op from my surgery and finally allowed to resume normal activities. About that same time, the kids had spring break from school. This was the first year in quite a few where we decided to plan nothing. We went nowhere and it was sort of amazing. We relaxed. We played xbox, drew with sidewalk chalk and blew bubbles. We explored thrift shops and playgrounds in our town. The following week B's niece, nephew and nephew's girlfriend came to visit so that of course meant visits to Kemah, crawfish dinners and fun. Frozen came out on digital download so we watched a lot of that and at the end of the month, Ry turned EIGHT years old!

He chose a dinner at Chili's and received the two things he wanted the most: a Kindle Fire and Lord Business Evil Lair lego set.

April- Ron's youngest brother came and stayed with us for a few weeks so it was a different dynamic having seven in the house instead of six. The weather finally started to warm up without so much rain and allergens and we spent most evenings outside. After my surgery I had made it a goal of mine to make some lifestyle changes. I had given up soda back in January and after having my surgery, realized just how much weight I'd put on (roughly 15lbs while overseas and then getting settled here). I started out walking with an end goal being running (but in April I was nowhere near running yet!) We bought the kids a basketball hoop and the boys kept pretty busy ''shooting hoops". Easter came and went. Ron took the kids fishing a few times and discovered new areas around the bay.

Overall the month passed by really quickly!

May- May was a BUSY month! At the beginning of May I pre-enrolled Connor into KINDERGARTEN!

What? This little guy is already going to school? Yeah I can barely believe it. He's also already reading a lot of signs, captions, etc as well as spelling and writing notes up a storm. That first weekend in May we so excited to go to San Antonio to visit Aunt Debbie and Christoper. Chris was graduating from his tech school in the AF and it was our chance to see him before he moved to his first duty assignment: Japan! It was so much fun getting to spend the weekend with them and to see our ''old stomping grounds". We went (of course) down to the Riverwalk and the Alamo as well as the Quarry and the Japanese Tea Gardens.

 

Sidenote...this was the last time my kids were at the Japanese Tea Gardens:

Yeah, that was THREE years ago. Seems insane huh? Anyway, I digress. So we had an amazing Mother's Day weekend with family (yay!) and returned home to a busy week of Mother's Day brunches at school, Field Day, and because we are completely insane and....we got a new puppy! Yes, yes we just got a puppy last year (Can you even believe that Lucca is almost two!?). But we're settled now. We're in a home that we own and we have no intentions of moving EVER, we won't need to worry about an overseas flight and I wanted this puppy. Now I'll be honest, I had asked before, several times throughout our marriage and was always met with a ''are you insane, you want that now? Maybe when the kids are older and can help take care of it". Because you see, I got a puppy but not just any puppy either. I got a Great Dane.

That is Stella, at 8 weeks old meeting Lucca (who weighs 14lbs). Now Stella was nervous and timid and so utterly adorable and tiny when we got her on May 15. She is very smart. She learned her name in less than 2 days, her and Lucca became instant BFF's, she got house training and crate training down quickly. The "issue" of course with Great Danes is their size. And because we've always rented and always moved, we have always had little dogs. We wanted the kids to be comfortable with a big dog, not afraid. Well little Stella was born into a litter of 12 pups and her owner wanted a re-homing fee but wasn't asking any sort of outrageous price. This was the perfect opportunity to get a Dane; the kids would see her grow day to day and know her without a fear of her size. With summer right around the corner we would have plenty of time to leash train her and play. Well as I sit here and write this, my now 36lb Stella is snoring. Here is a picture from last week:

Why yes, that is my husband carrying/hugging our now 13 week old Great Dane. 

So anyway, back to May. We got Stella and that same week Logan and I celebrated our Birthday's. We had a small party with friends and a taco bar here at home. The following week Auntie Michelle came to visit! YAY! Of course we went to Kemah and Galveston and downtown Houston and hit up the outlet mall a few times. We went on Dolphin tour boats and ate Tex-Mex and grubbed on s'mores in the evenings. We basically had fun every.single.day for a week.

And immediately following Michelle's visit, we had more visitors. Nanaw and Papa and Grandma Phyllis came down for a week too! They arrived end of May and stayed into the first week of June. We did much of the same activities (Kemah, Galveston, Dolphin boat tour, Outlet Mall) with them as we did with Michelle but we also spent evenings chit-chatting and staying up late with Grandma watching Criminal Minds :) Grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson's while we were overseas so while she gets worn out a little easier these days, she's still a night owl and still keeps up with the kids!

 

It was a lot of fun having them here. While I often wish we lived closer, I love living here and I love having so many visitors (and that we can accommodate them). They stayed until June 8th, then had to head back to Kansas.

June- It's summer break! With suddenly no visitors and Ron back at work, the kids and I found ourselves with entire days needing to be filled with fun. We initially bought a kiddy pool for the backyard but have since grown to love the neighborhood/community pool. I was extremely nervous to take them to a big pool by myself. One mom and four kids who don't know how to swim real well, is totally nervewracking. But we loaded up their arms with floaties and tried it out: so. much. fun! It's a big pool and is never crowded. The kids took to the water like little fishes and the lifeguards are attentive. If it's not raining, we head to the pool every afternoon loaded down with snacks of course.

On rainy days we watch movies. I've made it my mission to show the kids all the good movies from my own childhood. Last week it rained every.single.day but it gave us an opportunity to watch 'Back to the Future' 'The Princess Bride' and even 'The Sandlot'. They also have fallen in love with "Hey Arnold". We bought a family pass to Moody Gardens, which is resort/park in Galveston. It has three Pyramids, one is a Rainforest, one is an Aquarium, and the other is a Museum and has a 3D and 4D movie theater as well as a "Beach" with imported soft sand, a water playground, a zero entry wave pool and a lazy river. The first time we went we did the Rainforest and Aquarium. Last weekend we tried out the Beach. While it started storming two hours in, we had a lot of fun before we got banished from enjoying the beach due to lightning.

Today we took to exploring a nearby Nature Center that has a 1 mile walking trail. We saw lots of rollie-pollies, ladybugs, slugs, birds, two snakes, toads, a slew of butterflies, snails, palms and cacti. It was hot (93 degrees when we started) so there was plenty of whining (both heat and snake induced) but afterward they all admitted that it was a lot of fun.

With the boys all being in school come August, Maggie and I are keeping an eye out for fun things to do just the two of us. I mentioned above that I had started working out and I'm now up to walking/jogging anywhere from 1-6 miles a day (usually treadmill in the morning and outdoors in the evenings but that's dependent on weather). I can even run an entire mile, in 11:22 seconds. I realize that is a jog to most but I am really proud of myself as I have never ran an entire mile without walking until now, at age 30. I just ordered a jogging stroller so that Maggie and I can go on walks/runs in the mornings after dropping the boys off at school this fall. She is really excited to go with me and while I wouldn't have thought I would ever buy a jogging stroller for a 3.5 year old, she is still really petite and I know she isn't in anyway up to walking 4 miles. After a great recommendation from Amy and prior knowledge with them from Hollie, we went with a BOB. I'm stalking the FedEx man I'm so eager for it to arrive!

My doctor gave me the okay to workout the second week of March and since then, I have. I walk at least 10,000 steps everyday (love the fitbit) and then mix in yoga, the shread dvd and using the stability ball as well at least 3 times a week. I've never been one who likes exercising but I really do find myself enjoying it and I love that ''me'' time. I love being outside more, I feel myself getting stronger and I've lost 11lbs without using any pills, shakes, vitamins, etc. I don't want to diet, I want to have a healthy lifestyle, be here for my kids and set a good example.  So the evenings that I used to spend sitting at the computer eating oreos, surfing pinterest and blogging...I no longer have time for. I'm usually exhausted by 10pm! So while there has a been a significant lack of blogging, that's only because we're busy living life (don't worry I'm still busy eating oreo's too!).

Buon Appetito!

Well, our Italian night dinner was a hit! While it wasn't as good as Walter's it was pretty close. The Penne Aurora was almost spot on, I think I used just a touch too much cream as it was a little too sweet. That being said, we ate it all and the kids raved on. While it wasn't the same as Regina's, it was the most authentic pasta we've had since returning to the states.

And the bruschetta tasted nothing like Walter's but it was delicious! I think I used the wrong tomatoes but it was really good....like so good that even Ryan and Logan each ate a piece and those kids HATE tomatoes. It smelled really good and the mozzarella bubbled up nice and they just couldn't refuse.

Having an "I miss Italy" day

Today I am having an ''I miss Italy day." *sigh*

Last night, I had dreamt that I was back in Italy visiting friends. Now I just left six months ago so I'm not sure it's really time for a visit yet but whatev, a dream is a dream.

In it, I went alone and my bestie Amy picked me up at the airport. That dream-hug we shared felt SO real!

In the dream, I stayed at her house and we did all the things we used to. We chatted about life and had a cappuccino, we ate lunch at Regina's, stuffing ourselves on Penne Aurora and Margherita Bruschetta. We went shopping and I picked up pottery, olive oil and we went to the winery where I bought six bottles and joked that I really hoped the airline didn't check my bags. At some point we were in snow, which was a bit weird but I guess just weird enough to remind me it was only a dream.

So I woke up with that ''homesick'' feeling. Missing friends and a place from my past. Then when I looked outside, it was super foggy. I didn't snap a photo but I should have. It was like northern italy foggy. It seemed like most mornings from October-April, every morning it was a blanket of fog.

This is the kind of fog common to Italy this time of year...

So between the dream, then the weather, I just missed Italy today. I woke up immediately craving a cappuccino and a cornello con crema. 

This is a cup of perfection once I add about 3 packets of sugar :)

Instead I had a cup of coffee from my Keurig and hopped on Pinterest. 

It is officially my mission this week to make margherita bruschetta and penne aurora that tastes at least a tiny bit like Walter's. I found a penne aurora recipe that seems sorta similar. It's on a french recipe site but the others I found just didn't seem right.  The problem is I never asked Walter enough times what was in it to finally break him, lol. He always just laughed when we said we needed the recipe. It's a big feat ya'll. I can't seem to find a photo of the pasta (probably because I inhaled it before I thought to take a photo) but this is drool worthy bruschetta. 

What you can't see under that glorious cheese is that the bread is toasted, then lightly brushed with olive oil and a swipe of pesto, then topped with chopped tomatoes that are sprinkled with sea salt and maybe tossed with a little more EVVO, add in a bit of pepper and basil and then melt mozzarella on top. 

Heaven on a piece of bread, in short. 

So today is Ron's last day at home. It's been 11 days since my surgery and my incisions are healing nicely and I can go all day without a nap. I do get tired and I do get sore but overall I have been pleasantly surprised at how smooth this recovery has gone. Well because it's his last day home, I made us go grocery shopping all together. So I could be sure to get what we wanted/needed and he could push the cart and do all the heavy lifting. 

I bought fresh mozzarella. I bought fresh basil. I bought the pricey pesto. I found and purchased campari tomatoes (because they didn't have plum tomatoes and these look most like the ones I commonly saw at IperSimply). I still have 2 bottles left of my garlic infused olive oil from Bonamini (which apparently I never blogged about...say what!? I need to catch up!) and sea salt. I found the toasted type bread. It's not hard like a cracker but it's not soft like American bread.

Tomorrow is the day. (today would have been the day but I already had chicken prepped in the crockpot). Tomorrow is the day where I will attempt what is probably the impossible. On the menu is Penne Aurora and Margherita Bruschetta. Wish me luck!

Almost four years ago...

We made the switch to a mini-van.

I dreaded the thought of it. I hated the idea. I didn't want to be a stereotypical stay-at-home-mom carting my kids off to soccer practice in a mini-van. But finally, we caved and bought what we affectionately call ''The Swaggerwagon".

Now it didn't happen overnight, but each day I liked it a little bit more. The sliding doors were genius...the kids didn't whack the walls of the garage anymore. I could buckle the baby in at Target without blocking an entire parking spot. I had room to change a diaper, when needed. I could fit both the stroller and my groceries. The stow-n-go feature on the Chrysler Town and Country is GENIUS! I can keep my reusable grocery bags in there, a spare change of clothes/jackets, snacks. When we travel it seriously saves so much space because you can fit a lot in those floor cubbies. Dare I say, I learned to love it?

And the kids did too...until they learned there was better out there.

Amy drives an SUV with a DVD player in it which prior to becoming friends with Amy, I don't think my kids knew that this feature existed. Then the more friends we made in Italy, the more the kids realized everyone's vehicle except ours, had a DVD player. I was fine without having one. In fact, when we bought the van years ago I insisted on getting the base model. I didn't want power doors that little arms could get caught in. I didn't want to worry about the fighting over which movie to watch. I didn't want leather that carseats would tear up. I was secure in my decision, knowing that the kids were little and well, dirty and that some day I would have a nice car again. And the kids learned to live without a DVD player.

However, when we returned from Italy, we had to rent a van as ours was on an ocean carrier. We rented a 2013 Town and Country Touring. It was ''just" like our van but leather, had a DVD player, power windows, power trunk gate, satellite radio...it was like our van but better!
When the kids spilled a little Sonic drink, I just wiped it right off the leather. When they were arguing, jet-lagged and wanted to be anywhere but the car on the drive from San Antonio to Houston, I popped in a movie. When I had eleventy-billion things to carry and the dogs, I just pushed a button and the doors opened like magic.

I was intrigued.

So here were are, having been stateside five months now and I was still thinking about that rental van...especially after driving to Kansas and back at Christmas. Our van was at the point where it needed help. I won't go into all the issues, but it seemed like we had two choices: put in about $1000 of work or put that money toward a new van.

Today, we made a decision and it came with a DVD player.

While I still don't think we ''need'' a DVD player, I no longer feel guilty about turning the screen on the second we get in the car. For one, I'll take peace and quiet any way I can get it. Secondly, we don't have cable nor watch hardly any TV during the day at home, so it's not like they watch it all the time. Third, I no longer care, to be honest. It makes them happy. Happy kids means happy parents. 

Now I don't mean to turn my blog into a complete review of the 2013 Chrysler Town and Country, I'm pretty much going to do just that. Reading a review on edmunds or consumer reports is dandy, but really getting to know the vehicle from a mom's perspective, its more practical when it's moms who are buying the van!

So, on the outside, it looks almost the same as our old one. (It was a 2009, this is a 2013).

The color we got is called "Maximum Steel" it's not really black, not really navy, not really a dark gray but all three colors depending on how the light hits it. As Maggie put it, "it's very sparkly!". Exterior wise, it looks pretty much the same but this does come with nice rims instead of plastic/fiberglass hub-caps. We also opted to make sure we got the roof rack/rails package because we have used our van to move mattresses or IKEA furniture before and this would make it much easier. Standard on the 2013 is fog lights and a rear back up camera too.

On the inside...it's heaven. It's just like the rental we had. Satellite radio, DVD, leather, power doors/gate, and a REAR BACK UP CAMERA. (Amy, now we're twins!) I can make phone calls by pushing a button on my steering wheel (through the dash's uConnect system). There are FOUR USB ports in this van and four lighter/chargers. So I can use the GPS, charge my phone and charge Sissy's leappad. I can charge the boys cameras while we drive to our destination, rather than completely forgetting and having the batteries be dead on arrival, only to have disappointed kids. I can listen to my iTunes music by plugging my phone into a hidden USB port inside the glove box, which will charge my phone while I listen! (In our 2009 van we had to use an AUX out cable and then my phone had to be plugged into the charger to do this).

There are SIX cup holders just between the driver and passenger seats (eight if you count the ones molded into the driver and passenger doors). Which while I admit is a little overkill, it's convenient on road trips when Ron and I each have our water bottles, then drive thru Starbucks for coffee. I don't have to hunt for my nalgene bottle nor risk it rolling under my feet while driving. The center console is huge, without being bulky. It sits much higher up than the old one and has two separate compartments as well as a handy little inlay that my phone can rest on. The first compartment is semi-hidden by the phone tray and has a power outlet. Perfect for keeping the GPS in. Then with the press of a button, the console slides open to reveal a much bigger compartment, perfect for fitting DVD's in. I love the fact that there is no clutter like in our old console! The entire console can also slide back, I imagine so whoever is in the second row can reach the cup holders, but with Connor and Maggie, neither can reach. Like the 2009, this one also has two glove boxes. With four kids, I use one to store the first aid kit (we have to carry an epi-pen with us at all times with Ryan and while I keep one in my purse, if Ron takes him somewhere it's good to know there is one in the car) and the other to store the car papers.

The 2013 is also flex-fuel and I finally live in a big enough city to take advantage! While it doesn't offer 8 passenger seating like Honda or Toyota, that doesn't bother us. I LOVE having the two captains chairs and the ease of being able to walk down the middle if the kids need something on a long road trip. And the stow and go in phenomenal. When we need more room, we can put Maggie in the third row with her brothers then fold down the van seat into the floor and have room for all that stuff we bought at IKEA. It's literally a lift of the handle and pull of a different loop handle.

Yes, I'm not yet thirty years old and pretty damn excited about a mini-van.

Could we have gone with the more ''trendy'' Honda Odessey or Toyota Sienna? Sure. But the features of the Town and County, with that stow-n-go that I love, comes with a price that is so much more 'down to earth' that the competitors.

So for now, I am basking in the stereotype. Enjoying the peace and quiet that an episode of Scooby Doo can induce. With the push of a button I can open the doors from inside the house without having to hear ''I wanted to open the door and *insert kid here* didn't let me." I am a card carring member of the ''Minivan driving, stay at home mom" club. What, what!?

Just don't expect to see any stick people decals on my back window. I haven't completely lost my mind.

Yet.

I'm trying to catch up

I love blogging, I really do. I don't do it for money or an audience, I do it because I like to keep track of the little things. I'm pretty sure I don't even have an audience anymore and that's okay with me. I never started blogging to entertain people. I do like that family and friends have a way of checking in on us, if they want to. I like that someone else who is moving to Italy with four kids might stumble on my blog and feel a little more reassured that they can do it. (Hey it's happened before and we're still friends on facebook after moving. Hi Riann!). I'm happy that little tutorials of mine end up on Pintrest and help someone else out.

But the well-child check ups, the day trips, the cute little stories and funny things the kids say...I know it's just ''mom stuff'' and I like it. I like that I can, with the click of a button, immediately look back on everything we did November 2008. That I can see how much the kids have grown without having to pull out the external hard drive. That I can see when they hit milestones without a self-inflected guilt trip when I pull out a damn-near-empty baby book. I know when they took their first steps. I know when I cut their hair for the first time or any other trivial little fact....because I blogged. I frequently say "I don't know where that picture is" or "I'm not sure when we went there" but I can almost always answer with ''But I know I blogged about it." and with a small search, immediately whatever it was we were looking for, it's there.

So when I look at the archive on the left and see months that have just one post, it upsets me that I didn't take two seconds to post something. I know that I'm busy living life and not blogging about it but I also know that it's never going to happen if I don't make time for it. I was just as busy in 2010 and 2011. I had four kids, had just moved and still found time to blog. I blame my lack of blogging on myself, having an iPhone and social media. It is SO easy to upload a pic to Instagram or Facebook with a quick byline and be done. But six months later when I want to show someone, I can't find it. Or at least not easily. I downloaded an app for blogging (BlogPress) but it constantly has glitches, the pictures are either super tiny or super grainy and I end up usually quitting after I've written half a post.

So, my point (I do have one!) is that I am going to try to be better. I'm going to try to update more often. The funny little things that the kids say. The pictures from playing at the park. The embarrassing stories, the illnesses. These are things that I look back on (literally, I click on 2009 and just read) that make me go ''Man, Logan hasn't changed a bit" or "I can't believe Maggie is older now than Ryan was when Connor was born...Ryan seemed so big then and Maggie seems so little now''. It's the reminders of where we have been. The tiny two bedroom duplex that we all six once lived in. The anxiety over moving to Italy. It's the memories that I don't want to lose.

This morning, I spent a few hours updating the blog but I did it by back dating the posts. So that trip to Slovenia and Croatia that we went on in July but never blogged about? Yeah, it's posted in September now as a ''throwback''. Maggie's birthday party, Halloween, our trip to Kansas...are all posted now in the month it should have been posted. I'm going to still do ''throwbacks'' on trips we took because I think they're fun and I don't want all my posts to get buried in the past. But I am back-dating the ones that are time sensitive to when they happened (Holiday's, Birthday's, etc).

My 900th Blog Post!

I started this blog back in July of 2007 and I can't believe that here I am, six years later, still plugging away. Now granted back then I was posting much more often but back then I had two fewer kiddos and much more free time. Since starting this blog we have...

• given Bubba and Pooks two more siblings and have now completed our family. Hence where the blog address comes from...I never changed it after having Peanut because I knew it was highly likely that we weren't done having kids. After Sissy, we are done (necessary surgeries have been preformed to assure that!) but now if I move to a new web address I'll lose all my comments and I don't want that either so here we are, at Bubba and Pooks. Forever! 
• moved from small town Kansas, to bigger town Kansas, back to smaller town Kansas, to San Antonio, Texas and now we reside in Northern Italy. Five towns (2 states and 2 countries) in six years!
• re-homed one dog (our beloved chihuahua, Tito) due to Bubba's allergies and asthma (Tito had a genetic shedding disorder) and recently added a more asthma friendly, Maltese/Min Pin named Lucca to the clan. This is probably for the better as Tito was pretty skiddish around a lot of people and well, our family is a lot of people.
• successfully potty trained four kids. We have moved four kids up into twin beds. We no longer deal with night feedings, diapers leaking, breast-feeding, moving the crib mattress down or baby wearing. We don't have to carry car-seats into restaurants and we have no one rear-facing anymore. We go to the store without bringing along an ''Arf'' or a puppy or a blanket. The kids are growing up! 
• been celebrated nine wedding anniversaries. When I started this blog, we were practically newlyweds!
• finally became a full-fledged card carrying member of the Swaggerwagon club. In May 2010, we succumbed to the minivan. I wasn't sure it would ever happen but I can honestly say that the sliding doors are super convenient and the "stow and go" is genius. My only regret is not getting the model with the installed DVD player.

It's amazing how much can change in six years. It really is. With 900 posts I've learned a thing or two (I think) and I'm making a couple changes.

I am going to start using the kids' real names. When it was just Bubba and Pooks, it was easy to keep straight and it was cutesy...but now I have four kids. Four kids whose names I constantly mix up or smoosh together. Add in the four blog nicknames and it's four too many. I am no longer a new mom, new to mommy blogging or scared about people knowing their names. Granted I'm not sharing our last name, social security numbers or street address...but they will be Ryan (Bubba), Logan (Pooks), Connor (Peanut), and Maggie (who I will still call Sissy 90% of the time because that's her real life nickname too). For most of my readers this changes nothing as you knew the kids' names anyway.

I am also going to try very hard to play catch-up on the trips I haven't gotten around to sharing yet. I know Nanaw is waiting for the final installments of ''Nanaw and Papa visit Italy''...which has almost a year now (crazy!).

It seems really, really cheesy when people say ''They won't be little forever'' or ''Time flies, pretty soon they'll be graduating'' and you think ''Right! I'm going crazy waiting for BEDTIME" but it's true. It really is. A lot can change in just a few years and in just 900 blog posts...

Bubba and Pooks, Summer of 2007:

Ryan and Logan, Spring Break 2013:

And now I feel old!

This past week in pictures...

Peanut learned to write his name, all by himself...

While simultaneously recovering from a horrible case of Hand, foot and mouth...
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I have found a homemade deep dish pizza recipe that we absolutely love! To the point that I make it at least once a week.

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We spent the weekend with friends; at birthday parties and having barbecues!
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After almost 2 years I have finally figured out a few more ways to style "girl" hair

And Sissy has proved that she is anything but girly.
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Bubba has been reading and loves first grade!
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Pooks is having a blast in Kindergarten!

And after 8.5 years of marriage, B and I finally had photos of just us taken.

The best breakfast date

Sunday morning, B got up and got the kids breakfast and allowed me to sleep in. When I finally woke {not by choice, by B almost literally dragging me out} Sissy was the only one left at the table.

"What is she eating?" I asked while I added cream and sugar to the cup of coffee that B thrust at me in an effort to ward off all grumpiness.
"Cereal"
"Well, I can see that...does she have milk in there?"
"Yeah. Cause she's eating cereal. With milk. All the kids had bowls of cereal for breakfast...she's on her third bowl." B said in a tone that read ''DUH".

Now Sissy eats cereal almost every morning, that's not what surprised me. What surprised me was several things: One, she was at the table in a booster seat and not in her high chair. Two, she had milk in the bowl...I always give her dry cereal in her bowl and sippy cup of milk because I just assumed it would be too messy and too easy for her to spill. Three, there was no mess and four, she was on her third bowl!

How did I not know that my 17 month old daughter could eat a bowl of cereal with milk, using her spoon? {Because I never even offered it to her is the reason}It hit me like a ton of bricks: she isn't a baby anymore. She is most definitely a toddler. A toddler who is capable of more things if I give her a chance to try. A toddler who is learning and discovering new things that she likes and new things that she can do, everyday.

I was suddenly immensely proud of her.

So, I poured a bowl of cereal myself. Grabbed my coffee and had breakfast with my big girl. As I sat there I was able to look at her, I mean really look at her and I realized that I cannot put into words just how much I love my kids. All of them. I didn't even know it was possible to love another person, as much as I love my children. And I don't know how to explain or why but the love you feel for a daughter is different than the love you feel for a son. It's not that you love one more than the other, that's certainly not the case as I love all my kids more than I can even express...it is just different. And I am glad that I was given an opportunity to experience it.

And I think the above two photos are my all time favorite photos of us together. B snapped them with an iphone but even with sleepy eyes and bedhead hair, I just love them.

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

So tell me what you want, what you really really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really 

really really wanna zigazig ha"

Ahem. Now that I have that out of my system (and stuck in your head, ha!) I have been thinking that this year I have seen more stuff out there that I would want for Christmas than ever before {well since become an adult/mom}. Ironic since I will be spending this Christmas is Italy! It's like ''geez lady, isn't that enough?" and it is. I am ecstatic actually. But my point is, it seems like every year there isn't that one thing that I just have to have. I mean, sure I come up with something when prompted or asked but usually it's a last minute ''oooh that'd be nice!" like a Starbucks gift card or something practical like a new knife block, a bedding set, etc. But this year, I have an entire list of stuff that is just for Shannon, not mom-ish or house-wifey but just stuff I would want. Now granted, I know beyond a doubt I won't get most if any of it and that's perfectly fine. It's just funny the way life works out. 

This is the first year since B and I got married that we have made a ''no gifts for each other'' rule. With moving it's just too much. Too much logistics, takes too much time and planning and too much to fit in our luggage. Our gift to each other is this move. It is taking advantage of getting to live in Europe. It's taking day trips to Venice and weekend mini-vacays to Switzerland or Germany. And that is more than enough, more than I could have ever imagined. I mean, I've never even been to LA or NYC and they are in the continental United States. 

But besides all of that, in no particular order, here is my list for Santa. If all else, use as a gift giving guide :)

1. Jo Totes camera bag:

Seriously how cute yet functional is this camera bag? So much better than the gray and black Wal-Mart one that you know, looks like a camera bag, that I bought four years ago for maybe $15. This is adorable. And while trekking all over Italy, adorable and functional are necessities. Well, to me they are. Or should be.

And speaking of cute yet functional....number 2 on my fantasy list:

Grey UGG Classic Cardy Boots- I know, I know...you're thinking really Shannon? Uggs?? But if you haven't seen these in person, you should. They are gorgeous. So soft and warm, perfect for pulling up over some skinny jeans and while not AT ALL practical in South Texas (despite the gobs of people wearing them) they are completely practical for Italy. It's gets cold there. In fact, we'll be just south of the Dolomites (thats a mountain range folks). You can see them from the hotel on post. If that isn't boot weather/location, I don't know what is! *and they are much cheaper than that several places online...which is even better*.

On to number three...I don't know that I ever blogged about my Keurig but I love it. I'm using the word love. I've drank espresso Starbucks drinks for awhile. But I didn't start drinking coffee at home until after Peanut was born and then it was only when desperate. B likes his strong, dark, extra bold. I like mine not so tar-like, with cream and sugar. Maybe a bit of vanilla syrup. I drink it to wake up, sure but I like to enjoy it as well. So  we got a Keurig back in the spring and it's perfect. He gets his cup of tar, I get my French Vanilla fix. Seriously amazing. But the thing I lack is a way to store all those k-cups. We have several different boxes open so it'd be nice to have a way of storing and showing those off that is better than this system:

Yeah, that's an old utensil organizer propped up on the boxes of kcups, sorted by flavor, inside my cabinet. So...hence why I got down right giddy when I found this:

It's PERFECT right!? It holds 18 k-cups, is adorable and practical (are we noticing a theme here) and only $25. That's cheaper than the Keurig stuff you can buy in the stores. I want it. 

And last but not least, if you are any sort of crafter or blog follower of any craft blog, I know a Silhouette is secretly on your Christmas list. These things are ah-mazing. Cute and practical? Not so much. But fun and could make cute and practical things? Yes. 

The Silhouette is a digital cutting machine that connects to your computer and cuts designs and fonts with a small blade. There are tons of possibilities creating with the Silhouette - home decorating, decor, DIY projects, paper crafts, iron-on's and more. No more using an Exacto knife for freeze paper stencils...this bad boy will cut it right out. You can even make tattoos and vinyl decals for your walls or car. Totally amazing!

So that's my list. Nothing to extravagant. Everything is somewhat practical even if not truly necessary. Any the y are gifts that I can't share or use or spend on the kids...that's an improvement for me!

Oh Pinterest, how I love thee!

So a few months ago, I discovered Pinterest. It's a virtual pin board...you see something you like on another blog or website you ''Pin It" {like bookmarking} and it shows up on your pin boards. I have a button on the right hand column that says ''Follow me on Pinterest''. If you click that, you can see what I mean.

But, I digress.

I freaking love pinterest. Yes, it can be a major time suck but used wisely, it's also so informative! I started out using it as a means of bookmarking things for Sissy' birthday party. I used a bunch of those ideas {circle garland, pennant birthday sign, rainbow themed} at her party so it was win-win. As I was pinning things for her party, I started seeing recipes and craft projects....gradually I pinned those too. Hence, our ''monster pillows'' inspired by the ''Pajama Monsters" I found pinned by a friend...

I used Pinterest to get ideas as to what to wear for our family photos; what colors coordinated and pose ideas for all of us. I don't think I used any of what I pinned {it's hard to remember and apply in the situation!} but it made me realize that as long as we were all happy, the camera would catch that...and that was most important.

Like I said, if you aren't on Pinterest, you should be. It's amazing. I try to pin things that i will actually use/do/try so while I've been on for months, I haven't really pinned that much considering. I've tried a few of the recipes (chicken bacon ranch mac & cheese, cheeseburger soup, frozen pureed banana), learned a few photo and organizational tips. It's amazing. Did I say that already??

So on to today. I'm sick...or getting sick. Woke up with a sore back, headache, sore throat and that general blah feeling. My ears feel like there is fluid in them and sufficed to say, I didn't want to even leave the house today. So this afternoon, I was checking my usual ''YAY it's nap-time!" things {email, facebook, blog list and pinterest} I was reminded of a project that I had pinned weeks ago. I didn't forget it because it wasn't that important, it was just that life got in the way and I didn't have time to get my sewing machine out. And it was something I needed to make. So it's naptime, it's quiet and I figured better now than never.

What did I make? Why a Bapron (baby apron) or two,

And Sissy using one of hers....

It's a tutorial that I pinned from Craftiness is not optional, and I love it! Sissy has been yanking bibs off for months now. She'll yank til the velcro comes undone, then throw it to the dog. So this is perfect. There are arm holes to slip it on, then you knot it in the back. It's nice and big, when she sits it comes down past her waistline, keeping her pants clean too!

Please excuse the horrible lighting, it's dark by dinnertime now...Flash=crappy pics

The best part is how quick they are to whip up! I made two in about an hour...and I had to make the brown bias tape. Everything I needed, I had on hand. This one was made from leftover nursery bedding fabric, the other is a cupcake fabric with leftover store bought, double fold white bias tape. Both are backed in flannel for absorbency. Though I would love to make one in oil cloth or laminated cotton...so easy to wipe down. They really are perfect and Sissy doesn't even realize it is a bib. She didn't fight me putting it on or try to take it off while eating. I think because I slip it on her arms, she thinks she's getting dressed and just leaves it alone. Total bonus! The barpon...who knew right!? Thanks Pinterest!