being *that* mom

Sometimes I look back on my life before children and I laugh at how naive I was. I was so sure that I was going to be this wonderful, calm Mom who was full of Zen and never yelled, who was very go-with-the-flow and I was of course going to have these Angel children who didn't yell and hit but were polite and had wonderful manners. I was going to be the young {white} version of Claire Huxtable. I would be able to turn my nose up at those screaming kids in the super market... I mean geez, who cannot handle their own children?

Maybe I just interrupt myself and say, okay I wasn't naive, I was down right stupid.

I mean seriously, these are not pets. They are children. Tiny people with their own thoughts, feelings, actions and DNA. They have their own wants and desires and their own personalities with unique traits that are all their own. They can't be molded into what I want, they are their own person.

But still, I think I handle my kids quite well. After all I do have four children in less than five years, three of which are boys. We've only had one split lip, only one broken bone, no stitches, no 911 calls and only one poison control call.  Up until recently, I thought I was doing pretty damn good. Not Claire Huxtable but not too far off.

Then sweet Sissy came along. Finally our family was complete and how lucky were we that we were blessed with a little girl. At first, I rocked the whole ''mom to four kids'' thing. I mean Sissy was sleeping through the night by like, two months old. I was getting a full nights sleep, I was super busy keeping up with preschool and playdates and a newborn and I handled it well.

For awhile.

Now, I am home with all four kids, all day long. There was no preschool program here that I could put both of the older boys in that was anywhere near our price range (hello I am not paying $250/month for 2 day a week preschool). I had the idea that I would go back to the home-school route and plan lessons and activities to keep them busy and learning. It's a great theory but very hard to actually do. Afterall I have a baby girl who doesn't take a morning nap and a very active 2.5yr old who could care less about preschool. I have laundry piles that quickly turn to mountains. I have dishes that fill the dishwasher to ''full load'' status daily. I average about 7 hours asleep at night but I am usually woke 2-3 times by various kids. Whether it's to breastfeed or to change sheets after or an accident or to remind Peanut for the 4,302nd time that he cannot get up at 3:30am.  I have to go grocery shopping for the 3 starving boys and the hubs. I barely have time to blog (which I love) let alone scour the internet for crafty projects for the under 5 set.

I have quickly morphed from a Claire Huxtable wannabe, to a full on twin of Lois from Malcolm in the middle.

If you've never seen the show, you tube it. But poor Lois have FIVE boys and spends her days screaming, cleaning and chasing boys. Much like, yours truly.

I never imagined that I would yell so much. And it's not like I'm yelling because I'm just pissed off (although sometimes I am) I have to hell just so everyone can hear me. I yell to get their shoes on, I yell for them to clean up. Some of the things I yell, I would never even imagine saying. I mean, I can't make these things up. I say things like ''We do not ride on your sister'', "The sofa is not a trampoline", "Get out of that doggy door!" or "S'mores are not for breakfast".  We go through a bottle of soap every WEEK in the boys' bathroom...not because they are so hygienic but because they play with the bubbles. They play with their food, their sister's food, dirt, bugs, you name it and they'll play with it. Bathtime went from being enjoyable to a nightmare. Bedtime is ugly. I mean we get them in bed at 8pm and by 10pm, one of them is still up. While they aren't yet daring each other to jump off the roof...I see that day coming.

I know that I am blessed having four healthy children and I thank God for them everyday. But Mama is tired. Daddy is exhausted. I just want them to listen. And I will be the first to admit that screaming doesn't even work. But it's like I think that if I can just yell loud enough, maybe it will get through to them.

(I'll let you in on a secret...it doesn't).